At 70 or 80, most people do not want another thing. What they rarely get is to hear, all at once, what they have meant to the people around them. A birthday film does that: a sister remembering the summer they were kids, a grandchild saying what she learned from them, a neighbour of forty years. The people who cannot travel to the party can still be in the room.
We started Remember My Gift after making one: thirty videos from family in four cities, collected over two weeks. Here is what we learned about doing it well.
1. Make the circle bigger than the children
Three children and their partners is a nice message. Thirty people across a whole life is a film. Think in layers:
- Children and grandchildren, including the little ones. A four-year-old's ten seconds is often the moment the room remembers.
- Brothers, sisters and cousins. They knew them before anyone else and have the stories nobody has heard.
- Old friends: school, the first job, the church, the bridge club, the neighbours from the old house.
- Former colleagues or students, if they had a career people still talk about.
Around 15 to 30 people makes the best film. Ask a sibling or cousin to help you find contact details for the older friends; that list is usually the hardest part.
2. Ask the questions that bring out a life
Give everyone the same two or three questions. When five people answer the same one, the film tells a story on its own. These work well for a parent or grandparent:
- What is the one thing they always say?
- Your favorite memory with them.
- What did they teach you that you still use?
- What were they like when you first met them?
- What do you wish for them this year?
3. Follow a four-week plan
| When | What to do |
|---|---|
| 4 weeks before | Agree the plan with your siblings. Pick the questions. Build the list. |
| 3 to 4 weeks before | Send the invites. Call the oldest relatives yourself and arrange a helper for anyone who needs one. |
| 2 weeks before | Reminders. Recording closes about two weeks out if you want a printed book, one week out for a film only. |
| 10 days before | Edit the film. Approve the book proof so printing can start (4 to 5 business days to print, then 2 to 5 days in the mail). |
| 2 days before | Watch it through and test it on the TV you will use. |
| The day | Play it after the meal, before the cake. Film their face while they watch. |
4. Make it easy for older relatives
- No app, no account. A link that opens the camera is the most you can ask of an 85-year-old uncle.
- A helper. A grandchild holding the phone for ten minutes on a Sunday visit solves most problems.
- Other ways in. An old photo with a few lines about it, or a video they already have on their phone, both count.
- Their language. Let people speak in the language they are most comfortable in. Captions mean everyone can follow.
A message you can copy:
5. Add the old photos and videos
Ask everyone for a photo or two of them together, and go through the family albums yourself: a wedding picture, the first house, holidays from decades ago. Placed between the messages, old photos give the film its shape, from who they were to who they are.
6. Think about a printed book
Many people in their seventies and eighties would rather hold something than watch a screen, and a book does not depend on a link still working in ten years. Our books have a page for every person, with their photo and the words they said, and a QR code that plays their message. The finished film and every message behind those codes are kept for good.
7. Play it at the party
- Use the biggest screen you can and real speakers. Older ears need clear sound, and captions help everyone.
- Sit them where everyone can see their face, and have someone film the reaction.
- Send the film to everyone who recorded afterwards. The relatives who could not travel will watch it more than anyone.
You can do all of this yourself with a phone and an editing app; for 20 or more people, set aside a couple of evenings for the edit. Or let us collect, remind and edit while you plan the party.
Common questions
What is a good gift for a parent's 70th or 80th birthday?
For someone who has everything, words from the people they love tend to mean more than things. A film of messages from children, grandchildren, siblings and old friends, played at the party, and a printed book of those messages they can hold, are gifts that cannot be bought off a shelf.
How far ahead should I start a birthday video for a parent?
Three to four weeks before the party. Older relatives and friends need more time and more reminders, and a printed book needs about two more weeks for printing and mail after the proof is approved.
How do older relatives record a video if they are not good with technology?
Send a link that opens the phone's camera with no app or account. If that is still too much, ask a grandchild or neighbour to hold the phone for them, or let them send an old photo of the two of you with a few lines about it.
Can family members record in other languages?
Yes. Messages in Spanish, Hindi, Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, Tagalog, Arabic, French and other languages can be transcribed and captioned, so everyone in the room can follow.
How long should a 70th or 80th birthday video be?
For a party, 5 to 10 minutes. Give the person the full set of messages separately, to watch slowly at home.
Want us to handle it?
Pick the questions and add the family. We invite everyone, remind them, and edit the film, with a printed book if you want one. Free until your trailer is ready. Then choose Film ($49) or Film + Book ($109).
Start your gift